…and the curious case of motherhood insanity.

I was reading an article the other day about a photographer who became known for her controversial portraits of her own children. As I finished the article and perused the comments section, it hit me all of a sudden that one day I will not be able to photograph my own children any more. I will no longer be able to put together these silly photoshoots and have them play along. I will not peer through my camera and see their beautiful innocent faces looking back at me. They will one day grow-up and not want to be photographed any more.  They will one day move out and start their own family. And when that happens who will be my muses? These thoughts hit me in the gut like a ton of bricks and I froze thinking about it. My throat tightened, tears welled, heart pounding. I blankly stared at the computer screen playing out this future scenario in my head. All I could think was, “oh, God how sad. How totally freaking sad and crushed I will be when this happens. What will I do then!?”  Then the guilt came next. Ah, good ol’ mother’s guilt. Am I so self centered, THAT is what upsets me about them growing up? Not getting to photograph them anymore? Really? Then I felt absolutely ridiculous for getting sucked into the mental vortex of anguishing over something I can’t control. Mind you, this little emotional roller-coaster ride all occurred within a matter of 30 seconds. Can you say, “Craaaaazzzy”. I mean, really. Do Dads even have thoughts like this?

Chloe was nice enough to treat me to some of her world-famous-but-rarely-seen cooperation while I tried out some new film. I told her she to act scared like a wolf was chasing her. lol. She loved it.

I used Kodak Portra 400 for these. I still really enjoy Fuji the most but Portra will definitely be stocked in the fridge from now on. So beautiful and warm!