Just want to share a quick story about Asa because even though I *think* I will remember these little moments forever, they inevitably fade. I started reading short, 10 chapter, kiddie novels to him, which surprisingly he loves. Last night we were finishing one where the little girl’s cat “Polka” had died and at the end her parents got her a new kitten. We were literally on the last page and she was trying to decide what to name the new kitten.. “I held him up to my cheek and told him his name and he started to purr, which filled up a space in my ears that had been empty since Polka died” I couldn’t actually finish the sentence because a giant lump had lurched into my throat and I just sat there trying to keep it together. You know, the stress of a busy life, kids, work and everything in between, it’s real easy to stuff down the fact that both my dog and cat of 13 years just died within a few months of each other. But every once in a while I get completely blindsided with undeniable sorrow. I miss them so much. I got them both shortly after moving to Dallas when I was 18 and for a while they were my only friends. They went through EVERYTHING with me. Breakups, job loss, depressed days, wild nights, then babies! Everything from 18 to 32. Think about it. A lot happens to a person in those years. And I can’t get rid of the feeling that I didn’t do enough to help them. The guilt is immense.
So I’m laying there, lump in throat, consumed by these thoughts and Asa looks at me like, “umm…Mom?” The last thing I want to do is lose it in front of my kid. Breath. Keep it together Lady. But it won’t go away. Then he says “that made you think of Frankie and Kitty, huh?” Uh, oh. Queue water works. He quietly let me have a good cry and then said “It’s going to be ok, Mom” pat. pat. As if the roles were reversed this strong little man was consoling ME. Such a strange yet proud moment for a mother to experience. He’s growing up so fast and I am reminded that life is a combination of highs and lows, joys and sorrows. You don’t want to feel just one as both are valuable to the spirit. Thanks for reminding me of that little man.